life between choirs

Since I was four years old I have been a part of at least one choir. I started in Cherub choir at my family's church and then the Youth and Adult choirs until I graduated from high school. During high school, I sang in the school choirs and small ensemble as well as the Madison Children's Choirs (now the Madison Youth Choirs) and participated in state WSMA choirs and music camps. Throughout my undergrad at UWM, I sang in either Women's Chorus or Concert Chorale. Bookending my undergrad, in my first and fifth years, I sang in the Milwaukee Symphony Chorus. So now it feels strange that I am not in a choir and to have no immediate plans to join one.

I would like to join a choir at the U of Illinois, but I have a couple apprehensions about auditioning. First, I do not know how much time being a grad student and TA will take up, and until I embark upon and balance this unknown, I cannot figure in more events. Second, I do not want to be tied up over holiday vacations or on weekends with perforances when I could potentially be visiting my finace in Milwaukee; so I'm choosing romance over choir. I will eventually return to my first love, and hopefully soon, but not now in this transitionary period of life.

What I need is musical activity on my own terms. I thought about getting back into oboe, and actually tried for a couple weeks, only to recall why I couldn't commit to serious study. Whatever I persue, I cannot dabble in it like some hobbiest; no, I do it because I am a musician and a scholar. (Yes, mock me, if you wish.)

What I really want to do is resume voice lessons and practice piano on my own time. This necessitates finding a teacher in IL, but I'll work on that after a month of grad studies, during the final week of September. By then I will be into a routine, know more about the music department, and have an idea of repertoire for lessons.

After all, musicologists should not be limited to writing on music as their sole medium for musicing. Besides, this is merely emoting, and not musicing at all, but it is necessary; perhaps not necessary for publishing on the web, but for personal processing and bravely (or foolishly) baring thoughts.